Dear Friends,

The relationships between siblings are one of the more problematic points in familial relationships, and have caused friction since the creation of the world. It is no coincidence that the first pair of brothers we meet in the Bible have such a complex relationship that it ends in the first murder, which is also the first fratricide. As many of us know from our personal experience, problems between siblings are often a result of envy that is connected to the different siblings’ relationships with their parents. However, in the story of Cain and Abel, it is interesting that the role of the parent is played not by the parents, but by God. In Genesis 4, we hear of how Cain and Able both brought offerings to God. While God appreciated Abel’s offering, Cain’s was rejected, and Cain was angry.

The bible then gives us a very short, fragmented description of the actual murder:
וַיֹּאמֶר קַיִן אֶל-הֶבֶל אָחִיו וַיְהִי בִּהְיוֹתָם בַּשָּׂדֶה וַיָּקָם קַיִן אֶל-הֶבֶל אָחִיו וַיַּהַרְגֵהוּ
And Cain said to his brother Abel, and it came to pass when they were in the field and Cain rose up towards his brother Abel and killed him (Genesis 4:8)
What was it that Cain said to Abel? Many exegetes throughout the generations tried to offer solutions. As we all know, arguments between brothers do not always have a clear sequence or logic, and a lot of the tension builds up over many years. Perhaps it does not matter what Cain said: they began to talk and he ended up killing Abel. What he said bears no importance.
After killing Abel, Cain is punished by God. Like a parent punishing a child for misbehaving towards a sibling, God here plays the role of the parent thoroughly: first trying to figure out from the child what his version of the story is (“where is your brother Abel?”, Genesis 4:9), then stating clearly that Cain’s excuses are unacceptable and that he cannot run from his responsibility (“the voice of your brother’s blood is calling out to me from the ground”, v. 10), and an educational punishment – Cain is banished and cursed by the earth to be a wanderer, because of his brother’s blood which he had covered with earth. However, God marks Cain and makes sure that he will not be harmed, seeing as he is still the parent and cares for him (vv. 11-15). While the initial approach is reminiscent of parents and children, the crime here is no child’s play – it is murder, and that is why the punishment is so grave.
 

The Book of Genesis teaches us that there are different reasons for a parent’s preference of one child over the other. Isaac loved Esau more than Jacob, because of his trade, bringing meat home (Genesis 25:28). Jacob loved Joseph more than his siblings, because he was the son of his beloved wife, Rachel. In the story of Jacob and his sons in Genesis 37, the role of the father is played by the actual father – Jacob, preferring his son Joseph over the others. His preference is blatant – he makes Joseph a special coat with long sleeves, a luxury his other sons do not receive.
 

Joseph’s own personality did not help at all. Taunting his brothers with different dreams, which he thought proved that he was superior to them, was not what they wanted to hear from the brother they were so jealous of in the first place. It reaches the point where the brothers cannot even speak to Joseph. Jacob, who is blinded by his love for Joseph and does not pay heed to his other sons’ feelings, or realize the severity of the situation, sends Joseph out to his brothers, alone. The brothers plan to kill him, and only some form of brotherly mercy or love on the part of Reuben and Judah prevents this from happening.
 

After Joseph makes his way to Egypt and becomes powerful there, his brothers appear before him begging for food, not recognizing him. While later in the story Joseph appears to have forgiven his brothers, he still takes advantage of the situation and puts his brothers through a complicated ordeal before revealing himself before them. The complex fraternal relationship is at a ceasefire, but after Jacob’s death, the brothers fear that Joseph will seek revenge – old fights between brothers never seem to end! By this time, Joseph has apparently truly forgiven them, and sees the whole episode as part of a divine plan to save them all from hunger (Genesis 50).

It is interesting to note that while the Bible presents the Patriarchs as human, with human weaknesses such as preferring one son over the other, the laws of the Bible try to teach us that this is not proper conduct. In Deuteronomy 21 15-17, there is a specific law saying that a man may not prefer the son of his beloved wife in inheritance over his oldest son, and the firstborn is entitled to his share no matter what. However, the Bible can command us when it comes to such legal matters – it cannot prevent people from feeling and behaving in a certain way, and from preferring one child over the other in other aspects of life. 
 
An important point of friction between siblings often has to do with the age differences between them. Many oldest siblings traditionally assume the role of leadership. In 1 Samuel 17, the Israelites are at war with the Philistines, and Goliath curses God and calls upon the Israelites to send someone out to fight with him. King David, who is then a mere young shepherd, comes to visit his three older brothers at the battle field and bring them food. When David tries to find out more information about Goliath, his oldest brother Eliav is angry with him, saying:
Eliav: Why have you come down? And with whom have you left those few sheep in the wilderness? I know your presumptuousness and the naughtiness of your heart; for you have come down so that you might see the battle.
David: What have I done now? Was it not but a word? (1 Samuel 17:28-29)

In a way, Eliav’s anger at David when he is merely asking about the battle reveals to us what he probably felt later on when David became a national hero after defeating Goliath. As the oldest, he thought that would be his role, and he does not appreciate his little brother stealing his thunder. The fact that David was the youngest in his family is an important detail revealed to us when he is chosen by God (1 Samuel 16:7-12). His father did not initially present him before the prophet Samuel, who came to find God’s chosen one, and it is clear that no one expects much greatness of this little child. David's family background and the way he was treated by his brothers, not considered to have the abilities to lead or even to fight and cast aside to tend to the family herd, undoubtedly played an important role in the building of his personality, and perhaps it is this fact that gave him the sensitivity necessary in order to rule successfully over the people.
 

Have a great week!
Naama Baumgarten
The Biblical Hebrew Online Team